THE VALUE OF GOOD FRIENDSHIP AND COACHING

In my experience, friends are hard to find.  After serving 20 years in the Marine Corps, you become accustom to the flux of friends coming and going.  One minute you're inbound, the next minute your PCS'ing (leaving for another duty station).  The turnover of personnel is akin to a revolving door.  On average, for approximately three years - if you're lucky - you get to know someone fairly well and then they move on.  It's an accepted, yet painful part of military life -- here one day, gone the next -- it's cyclic and sad.  You soon find yourself developing "quick release" friendships.  Meaning, when the time comes, you continue forward without skipping a beat, without missing that person, without hesitation, without emotion.  Your heart become a little more callus, and you care less when people leave.  It's what we do.

So, finding a good friend has been difficult -- not to mention being a good friend has been even more challenging because I naturally develop a "quick release" mentality when building a friendship.  I spontaneously expect friendships to be transient, due to my many years of "quick release" friendship programming.  I can't help it - it's what I do.

After leaving the Marine Corps, it was even more difficult to find a good friend.  I'm sure a lot of this had to do with my old ways ("quick release") of fostering a friendship; but, thankfully -- through the grace of God, I did find a good -- no make that, damn good -- friend.  Furthermore, this particular friend is also an avid weightlifter and remarkable coach.  Unfortunately, he is in the U.S. Army (don't judge him for not being a Marine).  Of course, as expected he had to deploy to Afghanistan, but he's never pulled the "det-cord" on our friendship.  Rather, he's been a great friend since his departure.  Our friendship has grown exponentially through daily email correspondence.  Most of our conversations revolve around family, friends, and, without mention, all things weightlifting.  Okay, I'll stop bullshitting you, we talk a lot about weightlifting!

Much like finding a good friend, the value of a good coach is immeasurable.  I consider this particular person, not only a friend, but my coach.  I don't present the title "coach" readily or haphazardly to anyone.  You see, the most ideal "coach" is quintessentially an advisor, mentor, trainer, leader, scholar, and, if you're lucky, a friend.  Let me share with you some very important attributes of my coach and it's value to my weightlifting program.

Joe and Javi (coach and friend)
Is that Joe or Grizzly Adams?

- A coach is that one person who has the nerves (a.k.a. cojones) and intestinal fortitude to honestly express themselves to you - good, bad, and ugly.  If your shit stinks, a good coach will not only let you know how bad it stinks, but why, and how not to make it stink so much, or hide it so you can blame someone else.  There is no substitute for a coaches' candor and frankness.

- A coach is kryptonite to complacency and self imposed apathy.  If you get lazy and develop a "don't give shit attitude" your coach is on your ass like a starved, leg mauling, junk yard dog!  He's the one, who sets the standards high, motivates the work-shy, and demands excellence - always!

- A coach gives sage advice and just praise.  He's not going to blow smoke up your ass, but at the same time, gives well-deserved "at-a-boys" and the occasional pat on the back -- when deserved, not to stroke your ego.  Don't expect praise every training session, if you do try "Curves".

- A coach is an innovator and dreamer.  He shares your dreams of success on the platform and finds new and innovative ways to make it a reality.  Sometimes, these methods may seem odd or unorthodox, but he has your dreams in mind -- first and foremost.  Whether it's adjusting foot stance to overhauling a training plan, he is always an active participant in attaining your aspirations.

- A coach is a scholar of his sport.  Always learning and never reluctant or arrogant to learn more, a coach strives to continually educate himself about technique, equipment, rules, regulations, nutrition, recovery, and much, much, more.  The coach is humble in his knowledge and is always open to learning from novice to Olympian.

- A coach is omnipresent when coaching.  Trust me, he sees everything -- everything!  The smallest nuances and technical flaws look like a freaking train wreck, trust his "second set of eyes".  If you can feel and see it, it's magnified a 100 times over through his critical eye, so don't even think you can get one by him.  He sees everything!

- A coach is a (cheer)leader, the one person who is always on your side, rooting for you and your progress, on and off the platform.  He provides encouragement and lives to see you excel and reach your maximum potential.  He cares little about his well-being, only yours, because he is a (cheer)leader!

- A coach is a weightlifter -- either past or present.  He's paid his dues in the gym; sweating on the platform; bleeding on the barbell; screaming for another repetition; grunting and grinding out of a new PR back squat; dieting to the point of chewing off his own arm to make weight, and yelling at the new kid for dropping an empty barbell.  If he hasn't done it, he knows someone who has.  If your coach has never stepped on the platform, step away, step very far away.

- A coach is like a proverbial "jock-strap" -- kind of disgusting and borderline gay, but follow me on this one.  If you use it, or in our case, use the advice given, it will protect you, support you, and give you confidence on the platform.  If you choose not to use it, you run the risk of failure, injury, doubt, and stagnation in your training.  Don't be the "one" on the field without it -- freaking use it!

At the end of the meet, the value and character of a coach is telling, because a good coach will revel in your victory and provide reassurance and support in your failures.  He is there from the first repetition to the final lift on the platform, and back again the next day for more.  As you can see, the value of a good coach is incalculable and priceless.  If you can find a coach that exhibits these attributes consider yourself lucky!  Thankfully, these are the attributes of my coach who is also my friend, so I'm twice as blessed to have him as both.  Thanks Javi!